And jokes
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.
But the tree left him hanging.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Memes
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.