And jokes

What goes up and down and needs two people?

A seesaw.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?

A Brick can get laid.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.

Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

What is brown and sticky?

What is white and gooey?

What is long and hard?

(Tell me in the comments)

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.