And jokes

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?

Babies in a blender.

I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."