And jokes

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All I got was dust and my mom's wig.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

The hairline is way straighter.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?

One is wanted.

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?

The mailman goes home at the end of the day.

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

They both have a history of separating colors.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.