And jokes
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
Memes
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!