And jokes
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
Memes
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.