And jokes

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

A man gets captured by cannibals.

Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.

How many are hungry?

A. 10

What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

No Body Knows.

No body nose.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.

Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.

The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."