And jokes

What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?

One was born burnt.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?

There's no way home.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field? The baseball field has a home to run back to.

What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?

Person 2: Andrew?

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.