And jokes

My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple actually got picked.

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?

A: Batman “returns.”

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.

How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.

What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?

Serial killers are wanted.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."