And jokes

What does a priest and a clown have in common?

They both make children cry.

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

A pun enters the room and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.

What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.

What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?

A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.