And jokes

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?

The letter b.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."