And jokes

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

How are apples and orphans different?

Apples get picked.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.