And jokes
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Memes
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.