And jokes

What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.

Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.