And jokes

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?

No ballroom.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."