And jokes

Me, myself, and I.

What's the difference between a boy and gold?

More people want gold.

What’s the difference between a living and dead person?

I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.

A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.

The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"

What's green and is dangerous?

Kermit with a flip knife.

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.

God help me, please!

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.

What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?

Ben after he trips over the giant curb!

What is the difference between a human and a can?

A human can walk and a can cannot walk.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?

One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

Still no idea. 😂

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."