And jokes

Orphan

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb orphans get for Christmas?...

Cancer.

Johnny

Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.

Toilet Paper

You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Dummy

Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

Song

Whatโ€™s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

Memes

Dishwasher

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Snow

What is the difference between the snow โ„๏ธ and sun ๐ŸŒž? Snow is slippery, and the other kind ๐Ÿง’ of weather is not slippery.

Disease

A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!

Cabinet

Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.

Man

A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.

"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.

"What is it?" The doctor asks.

"I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.

". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

Chat

Naughty little Ariana Grande needs to be fucked like the whore that she is. Join this chat to see if you agree.

This is for the people who love her body and want to fuck her.

Read the directions.

1. Type how she makes you feel.

2. Type how you would fuck her.

3. Any type of sex is aloud.

4. Remember to send pics as well.

5. Enjoy.

Joke page for people of all ages. If you want. Please make jokes about her. Enjoy.

Rape

The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they arenโ€™t.

During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!

Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿฟ

Jack and Jill

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Theyโ€™re draining the economy doooown!

Theyโ€™ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill Jackโ€™s seed.

Theyโ€™ve ruined our wonderful town!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They have no moralityyyy.

Theyโ€™re spreading degeneracy.

We ain't what we used to be.

Weโ€™ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a โ€œfewโ€ more beers.

Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

Weโ€™re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill!

Theyโ€™ve banked off buying boooze!

Theyโ€™ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice.

Corruption wins, the avg. folkโ€™ll loseee.

Weโ€™re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Their kidsโ€™re in the business tooo!

Theyโ€™re draining all our banks.

Give 'em well deserved spanks.

Weโ€™ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

What a blunder, there was no rubber, now theyโ€™re a house of eeiiight!

A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

It all went swell, but for us, well, weโ€™re now an oligarchy!

WEโ€™LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

Porn star

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

  • 2
  • People

    To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!

    Baby

    What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

    I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.

    Incest

    A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

    The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

    Road

    Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

    Cancer

    So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

    Fire Truck

    Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"

    So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."

    So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"

    The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.