And jokes

Dick

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

Death

What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?

Paul Walker's death.

Uranus

Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?

Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.

Memes

Year

We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!

Ball

Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.

Yo mama

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

Orphan

An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."

Boyfriend

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

Pee

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

Mosque

What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?

A mosque after a missile strike.

Zoo

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

Bitch

You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.

The female ones are called "bitch."

Costume

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

Orphan

Why do orphans become bullies?

Because their mum and dad were never there for them.