And jokes
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Memes
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
What is the difference between a tree and a dog?
A dog can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”