And jokes
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
Memes
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Why are the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and got a plane!
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"