And jokes

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

Then you get the name Chrisa.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?

A strong man’s biceps.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.