And jokes

What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?

A magic house 🏡 can fly, and a human can walk.

What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?

The redneck fucks the cow.

I

FCC’s

Rhgstvyvybuiucrxbukuvtxw is a really nice day to come over and Thursday morning at the skatepark. I hygybhbubugydedhepbzehnsiejrfuidjojdueu is a bdebdurbxornixrnidnrjbdirudjbdjebhsbeha hle se hav rhz rhombus rhxhbeihs Heudjebxrbxh rbxh.

Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.

Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.

A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.

"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"