And jokes
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP Μs propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
Memes
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Whatβs the difference from me and a gay person? You.
Whatβs the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesnβt sell real meat.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
What's the difference between pepper and salt? One of them is black and the other one is white.
βThe difference between Asians and Caucasians is the cau-β.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.