And jokes

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of kids.

Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.

What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?

What is the difference between a school 🏫 and a human?

A human can walk, and a school 🏫 cannot walk.

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.

KA-DOOM-CHA!

What's wrong with my friend?

He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?

"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"

Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

Everybody knows nothing.

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.

God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!