And jokes

I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Let's make this the most liked and commented on this website.

This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!

What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?

The magician has a cunning array of stunts!

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are picked.

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."

What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?

Post Office.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!

What's the difference between a bay and an onion?

I cry when I cut into an onion.

What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.