And jokes

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"

One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.

Yo momma is like a penny...

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"