And jokes

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?

The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Poop and balls through the walls!

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.