And jokes

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

Why is Sally on TikTok?

Because she wants followers, so follow carcar1431 and xox.meg.xox1.

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.

Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"

If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?

Yeah.

Why?

Because I got too obsessed with hares.

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

What is white and sticky?

Glue.

NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.