After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
Limb Jokes
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
