Limb

Limb Jokes

Surgery

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

  • 3
  • Set up

    I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

    Infant

    Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

    Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

    Criminal

    A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

    Hit

    If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

    Surgery

    If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

    Assumption

    Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

    Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

    Dog

    Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!

    Sidewalk

    What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

    Baby

    What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

    A baby you cut one off each time.