Limb jokes
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Memes
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43Β°17.7355βN, 113Β°58.4205βW.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... Iβll kill him with my bear hands.
Person 1: βYou assume Iβm gay because I have rainbow hair, Iβm wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?β
Person 2: βYou assume Iβm disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?β
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But Iβm stumped.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.