Amativeness jokes

I am a joke.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Sans: What am I using?

A trom-bone!

Am I a guard or a guava?

I am cool.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

I am the danger.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

Do you want to hear a building joke?

I am still working on it.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

Hey, this is to orphans:

"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"

I am a dead baby. -end joke-

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.