A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, thatβs how far behind I am!"
I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why am I here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone died.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
My wife Jean is happy, π pretty, π and pregnant,π€° boy, π¦ am I glad π I bought her π© a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster
I am cool
I am Marios Brother
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL
So many things are going through my head
How am I not dead yet?
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!
Am I a guard or a guava?
I am the danger.
3. Today, I asked my phone "siri", why am I still single?β and it activated the front camera.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
