Amativeness jokes

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

I am awesome, look at me!

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

Hey, this is to orphans:

"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"

I am cool.

I am Mario's brother.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

I am the danger.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

Am I a guard or a guava?

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.