Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Why do the orphan always go to church? Because that’s the only place he could call someone father.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
"I will Always Love You!"
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
Why can’t an orphan have a dog it always runs away
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
