Is ur mom a virgin? Mine is How am I alive? U tell me
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote", one of my best friends would still be alive
I’m alive baby
"Want to hear a joke about pizza never mind it is to cheesy" -Hello YOU MORON ITS *TOO not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE
The African kids theme song is staying alive
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive. Miscarriages is ok because God did not want the baby to be alive.
if a old person tells you what to do just say at least my parants are alive!
19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Why am I still alive? Pills give me stomache, blood makes faint, height frightens me...
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Not a joke but still dc
Kobe would still be alive if he would’ve gone to jail for raping that girl.
Okay long story fast, i walked to gamestop in my house in the kitchen by walmart to a BTS squid game concert and drake and pablo was there for her labor in the cowboys stadium by nike , so i bought pencil from a dead alive man he said ''ZOO WEE MAMA" so yeah.
why do we not have female magicians because last time we had them we burned them alive
Good news people michael jackson is still alive, they found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Hitler amazing he dead but still alive because he did nazi death coming it never happend
What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
I've always been suicidal ,some might say why haven't I actually done the act ,I'll just say well I hate myself to much so I though I stay around for the punishment of staying alive
