Aircraft jokes
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
You might think these jokes are plane.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What did death say during a helicopter crash?
KOBE!
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."