Adoption jokes
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Orphan
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Hi! I love my dog.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
Ur mum gay.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.