Absence jokes
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Dmitriy has no mother.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo! :)
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.