Absence jokes
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?
Parent signature __________
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Dmitriy has no mother.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.