Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.