Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Vasya2003
@vasya2003
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
Q: Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!