Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Shower thoughts
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Yall mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
a man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night and she said chinese food, so he took her to china. The next night, he asked her again, she said indian, so he took her to india. The next night, he asked her again, she said, "Nothin." so he took her to africa
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDS.
what do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
dine and dash
I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was absolutely crawling in pussy.
Why aren't blind people allowed to skydive anymore? It really scares the shit out of the dogs.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out. There is Star wars Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars Rogue Trannie, Star Wars The LGBTQ Strikes Back and then there is Star Wars The Last Striaght Man.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer." Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips. The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
The twin towers was basically angry birds but in real life