How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Shower thoughts
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever? Close the casket
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
How do they execute paraplegics With the electric wheel chair
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Why does 9/11 only get a day but Pride gets an entire month? Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
Why does 9/11 only get a day but Pride gets an entire month? Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.