I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
Shower thoughts
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side.
So I crashed the car.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side.
So I crashed the car.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?