Worst Jokes Ever

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?

"It didn't happen, but it should have."

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

Sell PC.

Go to Croatia.

Try to fly to the US to meet female.

US won't let me in.

End up in Norway.

Female leaves me.

Female gets arrested by feds.

Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

Just another day in the defib life.

What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!

What do kids call a balanced meal?

A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...