Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.

Why did the pen stop writing?

'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

Why do people poop?

Because it we need to!

Note to all.

My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"

Me: "They are Parental Guidance."

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

D.K. is back, baby!

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.

People, please check out Tenya's jokes. Girl, love, cheetah, blue jokes!