Worst Jokes Ever
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
Everyone put your age here.