what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
What's the difference between a Ferari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferari in my garage
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
