Your mom jokes

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

Bully: Your mom gay.

Me: There's something on your chin.

Bully: Where?

Me: No, on your fourth one.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.

You and your mom.

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

I fucked your mom.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.