Your mom jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"