You jokes

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

You shouldn’t bully fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?

Special forces.

JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

You.

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).