World War II

World War II Jokes

Story

Lemme tell you a little story.

It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

And finally... you peel back the last plank.

And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

BOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s Anne Frank.

Japan

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Solution

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

Nazi

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

Experience

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

Hitler

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Difference

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Fatman

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Japan

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Train

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Harbor

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?