World War II jokes
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
My dad killed Hitler.
Memes
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
What do you call a blind German?
A nat-zee.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.