World War II jokes
How did Hitler like his portobello mushrooms?
Jewcy.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball? Because he did nazi it coming!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
This Anonymous guy is acting like Hitler, bro.
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
What do you call a blind German?
A nat-zee.
What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.