Why jokes
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
Why can't you hear a dinosaur clap? They're dead.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why was ten scared? Because it was between 9/11.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!