Why jokes
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.