Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.