Why jokes

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?

He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

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  • Why does the large dildo not have any friends?

    He's a pain in the ass.

    Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

    From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

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